Compulsive Shopping

“I enjoyed the movie "Confessions of a “Shopaholic" because Rebecca, the heroine, eventually learned to take responsibility for her actions. Deep in debt and unwilling to stop shopping, she at first tried to blame others in order to keep her victim status. She tried to find outside resources ("I could win the lottery!") to save herself rather than changing her own behavior. But in the end, she did the wise thing: She stopped shopping, stopped blaming others, stopped evading her creditors and sold most of her possessions to pay her debts. In other words, she grew up.”
Patrice Lewis

This not the kind of post I generally want to write for this blog. It starts with a negative, compulsive shopping, rather than with a positive, thrift. However, after receiving an email newsletter from our Employee Assistance Program (EAP), I decided that this subject might be worth a post. It didn’t take long to find some supporting material, so here is something to think about. I hope someone finds it useful.

My wife is not a shopaholic. However, it would be easy enough for her to become a compulsive shopper in the Atlanta of the 1950s and 1960s. She grew up living near and shopping at the some of the biggest and most famous malls in the Southern United States. At the time, Lenox Square and Phipps Plaza were tourist destinations (really). Bus loads of women from all over the South came to Atlanta with the sole purpose of visiting these malls. To these women, shopping was entertainment. They would rather spend two hours in Bloomingdales looking at shoes than an equal amount of time at a movie or reading a book. Shopping can also become a reward for a success or a distraction from the pain of living a less than perfect life.

My EAP newsletter informs me that, “According to a Stanford University study, 17 million Americans or 6% of the population are compulsive spenders or shoppers. Researchers from the University of Florida reported that the average compulsive spender is carrying $23,000 in debt (not including a home mortgage).” That would be $23,000 of high interest unsecure consumer debt, mostly on credit cards. The interest on such a debt is simply crippling to a middle class income.

The newsletter goes on to propose a series of questions to help the reader determine when shopping has become a problem. If you answer yes to any of these questions it is probably time to seek some help.

-- Do you shop as a means of relieving stress or escaping everyday problems?
-- When you are shopping, do you experience feelings of euphoria and excitement?
-- Do you feel guilty or remorseful after shopping?
-- Do you ever hide your purchases from relatives or loved ones?
-- Do you buy things on credit that you would not normally buy if you had to spend cash?
-- Is your shopping habit causing emotional stress, financial debt or ruined credit in your life?

Lest I be accused of making this a woman’s issue, let me observe that we men are also subject to a problem with compulsive shopping. While a man will not take a bus trip to Atlanta to waste money on clothes he neither needs nor can afford, he might drop $12,000 on a bass boat and then attempt to hide the purchase from his wife or buy a new 60 inch plasma TV for a Super Bowl party with his friends.

To bring a current news story into this discussion, some authors believe that the recovery we are experiencing in retail sales is at least in part fueled by the foreclosure crisis. Some of the folks who are no longer paying the mortgage on a house that is badly upside down, are instead using the mortgage payment money to fuel a binge of compulsive spending on luxury items. There are no hard numbers connecting increased sales of furniture, appliances, and automobiles to defaults or mortgages in arrears, but there is plenty of anecdotal evidence to support the notion that people who bought a house they never could afford are now likely to use that money to fuel a retail sales binge before bankruptcy or some legal judgment overtakes them and ends the party. Let me be quick to add that there are also plenty of stories of good honest hard working people overtaken by the collapse of American industry who have done everything in their power to hold on to their house only to see their dreams vanish into foreclosure and eviction.

It is all too easy to find ways to escape the pain of living with a momentary high. Food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, and sex are probably more common than compulsive shopping but all can result in serious negative consequences. There are better ways to cope with “depression, sadness, anger, emptiness, boredom or low self-esteem.” It is not easy. Sometimes I use food as a reward or comfort in time of sorrow. Not surprisingly, I have a problem with my weight.

There is help out there. I hope, if you are facing this problem, you can start at your church. Many churches are beginning to offer courses in financial literacy and support groups for folks with money problems.

As we have learned from the 12 step programs, the first step in solving a problem is to admit we have a problem. There are people out there who are willing to help, not only with the problem but with the guilt, shame, and anxiety associated with compulsive shopping.