Maybe I am not the best person in the world to write a Christmas post. I come from a family that through a consciously negotiated pact refrains from giving gifts beyond immediate family. My wife comes from a family where people buy gifts for other family members to give out on Christmas so they (the person spending the money) will not feel guilty about the moral failure of their offspring or sibling. For most of our married life Christmas sparked off at least one really ugly argument. Finally we reached the point where we understood just about how far we could push these issues without a major explosion. Now we are both pretty unhappy with most Christmases, but neither one of us is too unhappy at the other’s expense.
We all read the stories, “Woman Trampled to Death at Walmart.” It starts on Black Friday with millions of Americans standing in line for hours to save $50 on a tablet PC; children raising guilt manipulation to an art form to receive the latest overprice piece of plastic junk they saw on TV; mothers on the verge of a nervous breakdown because they can’t give their family the perfect Norman Rockwell Christmas complete with a gourmet seven course meal. Let’s not even consider people losing their jobs over drunken performances given at the office Christmas party or the huge increase in the number of suicides committed during the holiday season.
For heaven’s sake, if there is anything that requires a budget summit between husband and wife, it is Christmas. Have all your arguments finished months before the advent (a pun) of Black Friday. Under no circumstances borrow money to fund Christmas. In olden times, banks offered Christmas Club Accounts. Every week during the course of the year, money was deposited in these accounts to assure enough funding for the family Christmas. Even though such things haven’t been offered for years, maybe you could start an account for funding the Christmas budget on January 1.
Don’t give Christmas gifts to people for whom it would be difficult to reciprocate in kind with the exception of children, of course. It is no favor. The Japanese have a word for this burden O-Kaeshi (translated honorable return). In Japan once you have received a gift you are obligated to give one in return. It starts a complicated cycle of guilt driven giving, based on the social standings of the participants relative to one another. This practice is quite totally insane. The people spending the money need the money and the people receiving don’t need or perhaps don’t even want the gift.
The true spirit of giving is captured in the classic O’ Henry short story, “The Gift of the Magi.” Most of us read it grade school, but if you haven’t read it, I won’t spoil it for you. If this doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, you need to work on your heart.
The Gift of the Magi
Ratchet everything down a bit.
That dinner doesn’t need to be all that extravagant and expensive or perfect. If you are that worried about impressing someone else, don’t invite them.
You don’t need to go into debt to buy a $500 I-Phone for a twelve year old child.
Find ways to teach your children and yourself about the true spirit of Christmas over the course of the holiday season. Since Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, perhaps his story and his Church might be a good place to start. The first Christmas gift was Jesus. He is the Lamb of God given to us for our salvation and that we may live with him forever.
The first gifts given to celebrate his birth were given by the Magi. These gifts were treasures given by kings to the Son of God. Go thou and do likewise. Give something extra to the works of God this month.
The Bible teaches that our savior is an advocate for the needy. Perhaps this is a good time to give to ministries that care for the poor or maybe you could donate an hour of your time to a homeless shelter during this season. Remember, your children are watching you. What you do is a hundred times more important than what you say.
Give something of yourself that doesn’t require a lot of money. Give someone a sheet of homemade chocolate chip cookies instead of a senseless gift. If you are good with your hands make a Christmas ornament for someone’s tree.
The greatest gift that you can give someone who really loves you is your time. Spend time with those you love creating memories and traditions that will make you all better people.
From the movie the “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”
The Grinch: It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes, or bags.
Narrator: The the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
The Grinch: Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...
Narrator: He thought
The Grinch: ...means a little bit more.
The First Sunday in Advent
The Collect.
ALMIGHTY God, give us grace that we may cast away the works of darkness, and put upon us the armour of light, now in the time of this mortal life, in which thy Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious majesty to judge both the quick and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal, through him who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Ghost, now and ever. Amen.
What a great reminder of this seasons' purpose. Thank you.
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