The Stories We Tell Ourselves

At almost any moment of life we can be forced to make a decision based on inadequate information. P.S. Choosing not to make a decision is also a decision that can have far reaching consequences. We deal with uncertainty and the possibility of highly improbable events by plugging the facts as we know them into our metanarrative, the overarching story we tell ourselves about the universe and our place in it.

What if our metanarrative is no good? What if it is a bad model of reality? Every one of us has a metanarrative and although none are perfect, some are much closer to reality than others. What happens when reality conflicts with our metanarrative?

Let’s start with a relatively harmless example. I love cars. I read about cars I have no intention of ever buying just because I find pleasure in fantasying about high performance luxury sports cars while viewing glossy photoshopped images of automotive perfection.

Yes, I indented that last sentence to sound vaguely pornographic.

I also read about cars I could realistically afford to buy when the time comes. My metanarrative tells me that Honda Motor Company makes a reliable automobile. My 1996 Honda Prelude Si was the best car I have ever owned. It was fabulously reliable, fast, comfortable, fun to drive, and delivered good gas mileage. After 14 years I traded it in for a 2010 Acura TSX, a high end Honda product. After 6 years it is well on its way to overtaking my beloved Honda in my pantheon of automotive excellence. Unfortunately my metanarrative no longer lines up with reality. Consumer Reports has put the hoodoo on the nine speed transmission found in every Honda product I would consider buying. They are not alone. Other respected sources have lowered Honda’s standing from the top three manufacturers to the middle of the pack. This actually makes me angry, even though I believe Consumer Reports is not motivated by any conflict of interest to tell me lies. To be honest, if I had to replace my Acura today, I would have to look at a Lexus or an Audi. It almost feels like treason to make such a statement.

This election is messin’ with a whole lot of metanarratives. I haven’t seen this much commotion, anger, and confusion since the elections of 1968 and 1972. First, admit that you don’t have all the facts. Then do your research. Don’t just listen to sources that will feed your assumptions and prejudices. Try to look deeply into the facts, while ignoring the stories woven around the facts by self interested parties seeking power and money at your expense. Realize that there are no objective balanced news sources in America when it comes to reporting on this election. Sometimes foreign reporting is less filled with histrionics and folly than even the best known American media outlets, but it isn’t perfect. Look at your own values. Do they really reflect what you want for yourself, your children, your nation? Once you are truly comfortable in your own skin, this may take more reflection than you think, then compare your values to what you know of a potential candidate. Try to look at the entirety of their lives. Then cast your vote remembering that fear, greed, anger, and hatred are the enemies of good decisions.

It won’t be easy. There is much to consider and most of it isn’t good.

Once this election is over you and your metanarrative will have a more important problem, the rest of your life. Are the stories you tell yourself about the world you inhabit useful and accurate? Will your assumptions about the universe help you to enjoy a more abundant life or will they guarantee that you will never find financial freedom? Will they hinder the outcome of the more important aspects of a balanced life, like our relationships with our family, our friends, and our God?

How does this work? Suppose your boss ignores a report you send up the chain for review; does this mean that he thinks you are stupid and he hates you? Does it mean that he is busy and that you are a lower priority than some of the other irons he has in the fire? Does it mean he just forgot he told you to prepare it? How about instead of telling yourself all sorts of stories that involve your place at the center of the universe, you just ask? After allowing a reasonable amount of time to pass, this question will give you a little leverage, especially if your boss just forgot about your report.

One of the things I really enjoy about the more reputable sources for financial research is that they are all engaged in a genuine search for the truth, even when they disagree. There is a blessed absence of overheated rhetoric and psychological tricks designed to activate the lizard brain. Take in a deep breath then exhale. Relax the muscles in shoulders. Say a short prayer.

Then LIVE!