Schadenfreude

"Schadenfreude is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another." (wiki)

Schadenfreude is an all too human failing, one that I believe contributes to failure in our own lives and in the lives of our friends and family members.

Who isn't going to laugh when Moe hits Curly in the back of the head with a dead fish? Slapstick is one of the two universal sources of comedy that appear in all cultures on earth from the jungles of Borneo to the caverns of Wall Street. The second widespread source of comedy would be the dirty joke. We are all human.

The more insidious form of schadenfreude has its roots in envy, one of the seven deadly sins. Because we covet every good thing our neighbor possesses, when our neighbor fails, it becomes a source of self-satisfaction.

I have found that achieving anything of lasting value is extremely difficult. On and off, over the course of a lifetime, I have pursued a variety of worthy goals like financial freedom, physical fitness, weight control, healthy personal relationships, and my spiritual path with varying degrees of effort and success. In chasing my dreams of becoming a better person, it seems that at best I take one step back for every two steps I take forward. In 2008, it was difficult watching years of savings disappear into a black hole of falling stock prices. My efforts at physical fitness? Well, sometimes, I just quit, for years. After I hit some kind of wall, morose self-pity can seem to be the most natural response. My efforts at controlling my diet are so pitifully small and sporadic that-I am not currently losing any weight. Am I God's man of faith and power? Don't ask my wife, she knows my shortcomings all too well.

When I can say, "Rise up and walk," on even a semi-regular basis, I will let you know.

What kind of people do you want surrounding you when you are working toward a better life, people who find pleasure in the failures and shortcomings of others, or people who comfort and encourage one another whether in times of success or in moments of difficulty and failure?

When I see someone, who has succeeded in building something wonderful, achieving a goal that is at least something I understand as difficult and praiseworthy, I try to remember, that in most cases, people are rewarded in public for thousands of hours of hard work performed in private. How on earth would it benefit me to gloat when such a person, who just like me wants a good life for himself and those he loves, stumbles or falls?

Even if that person is your real or imagined enemy there is a better way.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven."

"Muditā: means joy; especially sympathetic or vicarious joy…the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people's well-being…Mudita is a pure joy unadulterated by self-interest." (wiki)

Buddhism teaches that there are Four Sublime States, compassion, loving kindness, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. Of the four, many teachers believe that highest and most difficult to achieve would be living in the condition of finding pleasure in the success and well-being of others. Look into your own heart whenever you gloat over the sufferings of others-even if they deserve to suffer. What you will find there is dark and burns like fire. When you escape your own lusts and desires for even a moment, like when watching your child learn how to walk, what is there, deep in your heart? How does that feeling compare to rejoicing in the suffering and mistakes of others?

Which state of mind is more likely to be a blessing to yourself and others, as we all deal with the difficulties and setbacks of life in this material world?

One more warning, when you are tempted to indulge in schadenfreude, remember.

"Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth: Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him." (Proverbs 24:17-18)