The Rehab Song

“They tried to make me go to rehab,
I said, no, no, no.”
Amy Winehouse,

I consider Amy Winehouse the greatest female jazz singer of her generation, a talent that deserves to be mentioned in the same breath with the likes of Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday. If Amy went to rehab, the world would be richer happier place, but I don’t want to talk about that kind of rehab.

First, let’s talk about physical and occupational rehab. It is painful, difficult and unfair. Having observed our parents growing old, I have noted that both physical and occupational rehab therapists tend to be young, strong, and healthy, yet they are allowed to torture helpless old people. Does that seem fair? My mother-in-law didn’t think so. Once, while complaining about the sadist who was making her life miserable, I introduced her to Amy’s rehab song. My mother-in-law loved it and sang it every time the doctors sent her from the hospital to the rehab facility. But when the doctor prescribes physical and occupational therapy, someone has to ask the question, “Do I want to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair or do I want to be able to walk?”

Over the years, I have noticed a frequent criticism leveled against personal finance authors falls under the category that I would describe as the, “Easy for you to say,” critique. Yes, even humble writers of anonymous personal finance blogs have probably reached financial freedom or are well on their way to that goal. Some of the celebrities in the field are rich by any standard. Dave Ramsey has a net worth of $55 million. Suze Orman rings the bell at $35 million. Is it fair for these people to tell the poor they have to do a better job living on a budget? But when Dave Ramsey offers a listener a free pass to attend one of his classes, someone has to ask the question, “Do I want to spend the rest of my life in the projects, or do I want to at least try to find financial freedom?”

In retirement, I am making an attempt to lose weight, become stronger, and live a healthier lifestyle. It isn’t easy. I am 66 years old and still overweight after four years of walking on an almost daily basis. I still have a heart arrhythmia and arthritis in both my knees. I also have an old back injury that I have discovered limits me to walking 5 days a week, max. In the past when I reached a wall in some kind of physical activity, I quit. This time, I consulted with a health science professor who suggested a change in direction. He still wants me to walk, but I have added working out on weight machines three times a week and attending a Yoga for old people class once a week. He also recommended swimming, but my first attempts were halted by water that I couldn’t get out of my ears. I purchased some ear plugs and a bottle of Instant Ear Dry, but they remain unused.

I realized that for the first time, I was applying the same kind of strategy to physical fitness that I instinctively used in a different kind of fiscal therapy and occupation therapy, rehab that involves money. When I discovered we were spending more than we were earning, we changed our fiscal behavior. When I decided I wanted to earn more money, I went back to school—twice. Finally, when it was apparent that I wasn’t going any higher in my choose profession, I started learning about investments. Every time I hit the wall, I changed directions. I didn’t give up.

Driving a 1966 VW bug without air conditioning in Washington D.C. summers for eight years wasn’t any fun, but it did allow me to pay off a 30 year mortgage in 9.5 years. I haven’t lost any weight since I started pumping iron four months ago. I don’t think I look any better, but I can see the numbers are going up, both the amount I am lifting and the total number of lifts per practice session.

If you are in need of fiscal or occupational therapy, go to the library or the Internet, find a professional who will suggest an exercise program for your bank account. Don’t expect it to be easy or fun. It will likely be painful. It will likely take some time before you start seeing any results. But if you persist in doing the right thing, your situation will improve.

You’re already in fiscal pain, at least make that pain meaningful.

Just one more set of ten lifts of that monthly budget!

Do you think that insurance companies would pay for physical therapy or occupational therapy if it didn’t work?